Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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