I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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