When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
