why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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