so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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