just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
please come you make the beer taste better
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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