I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
