Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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