i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
