I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
