well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
