I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.