God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
