return my video game
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
