hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
