I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
