Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
