If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
