thus making me awesome and them whores
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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