I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
