you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
