last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
