I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
