So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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