D3 body, D1 cock
Duck Duck Cougar?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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