A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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