She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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