Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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