508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
