Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he fucked my hip out of place.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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