Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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