before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize