whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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