This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
