He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
