So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
