ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
