Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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