I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
