My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
