South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
