I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
These tits shall not be calmed
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
