youre lurking in front of me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
