But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
