I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's like God shit irony all over that family
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
