Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
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halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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