The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
