He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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