it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
