Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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