I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
zippers are such a cool invention
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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