Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
