he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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