READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
