The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I bet he comes in French.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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