wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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