big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
