people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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