so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
