Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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