My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
