who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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