You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
