I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
