You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
