We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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