Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
