My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.